Dream Chasing 101. Have you given your dreams away? Let’s get them back!

Who did you give your dreams too?

Someone else?

I have spent my life giving many of my dreams away for others.

While I was trying to figure out what was next after finishing school I had a foray as an animal handler at a circus, I did this for a year and then I was offered a role as a zoo keeper at Adelaide Zoo! So amazing! My crazy camel farming friend from Mildura had a job there invited me to join her. A dream for me while I worked out what was next and so fun and how amazing! But I declined, was not in the boyfriends dream so didn’t take it up. He wasn’t for it…

A few years later I was offered a return fare to NY, to go and do fun things with a friend. I also declined didn’t want to go against the grain my partner was not able to come, so I didn’t go to that either. Was I mad? What was I thinking? It would have been amazing, we would have had a cracker of a time!??! A dream of mine to go to New York! But no again.

This is just one of many stories that pepper my life…maybe you have a sprinkling of the same peppering?

I used to spend lots of waiting, lots of watching, supporting others, thinking, one day my dreams will come true. Put everyone else first. If I do that then surely someone will help me follow my dreams?

Heck someone might even ask me what my dreams are….maybe …anyone?

It never happened.

I was always hopeful I would wait and help others and then mine would come along at some point.

For some weird reason, thinking dreams were not open for me to follow, dreams were for other people not me.

Dreams might come true if I was lucky, but I taught myself not to expect it.

Have you ever let others have the power, others decide your future?

I live where I live because someone else I was attached to at the time chose to live here.

I followed them here.

It took me two years to settle in and not be home sick.

I love it now, but it was hard and not my choice.

I have since learnt if you don’t say want you want and what you are chasing, others will put you in a box, or attach themselves to you and their dreams and they will decide what you get.

It does not take much to give away your power.

I have given away pursuing careers and things that interested me because others had strong opinions of ‘no do not do that’ when I have shared my vision. And it had an impact.

I let their opinions seep in.

We are all guilty of listening to others and then forget to listen to ourselves.

We tune out where we are going and what we want.

Are you prepared to be 85 years old and can in fact say yes, I did things I wanted to do. I chased those dreams, I learnt the things, I went to the places I did the things. I loved myself and I loved others, and also followed my dreams? If not, we have some work to do!

We must my dearest, visualise what you want and then dreams do not happen without action, you can help other people achieve their dreams but what about your own?

Your dreams are important.

Don’t give up.

Write it out.

Now is the perfect time to start visualising the next place you are going.

The important thing is to start – remember what you give your attention to grows.

Simple as that.

Lets give those some love some attention. Lets nuture your dreams!

Child playing up? Give the dear one some attention, some love they calm down and are all good again.

Plants dying because you’re not caring for them? When you give them attention repot and water, nutrients, some love, they are happy and healthy again.

Relationship not going so great? If you focus all your energy on attention, your time to listen, learn and work together, some love. Things often get better.

Same goes for your dreams.

So the thing is, dreams take time to come to life, but the joy is in the getting there. We have to learn to love the journey.

By giving your life’s dreams attention, you will make things happen in a good way.

I suggest you start with a big vision, bigger than what you can ever foresee right now.

Remember the mind needs somewhere to go, a path to follow – a visualisation gives it just that.

What is it that you really want? You are allowed to have that.

Right now lets talk about the how to go about dream chasing!

Dream chasing 101

Step 1. Get a vision

Determine what you want and visualise it.

You must know where you are going. Let’s work on visualising in great detail what it is you want.

Write it out, 100 sentences today, tonight, make time it will take you an hour.

Write out what it is you are wanting?

What does it feel like when you get there?

What are the colours you are seeing?

What does it sound like?

What is the weather like?

Who is by your side?

What colour is your couch?

How do you look?

Where are you living?

How much money do you have? Exactly.

Who walked the path and believed in your vision with you?

Who encouraged you along the way, even when you were having your worst days and you wondered if you would make it, they never doubted you for a second?

Write it down.

Then read it out aloud.

Again and again and again.

Now what is the first step to get there?

What do you need to do right now?

Step 2. Do NOT share with everyone

Very important ! Do not skip this section!

This is the time when you stop telling people who don’t believe in you anything about what you are doing.

They do not get your mind or are allowed inside it.

Now is the time to shred those from the conversation that

1/Don’t believe in you

2/Tell you how impossible this thing is

3/If you start telling them how hard things are – because let’s face it is hard or compare you to someone else. These people like to lean into that and make your fears bigger instead of stamping them out and cheering you on.

They pity your situation your need for more and make it all worse rather than saying what you need to hear which is

….. ‘you can do it, keep going…’

Now is the time to preserve your words and who you share them others.

Ask yourself, will they encourage or criticise and compare you to someone who has already done it?

Are the patronising?

Are you not sure? I can tell you, you actually will know the answer – your gut will tell you, or your body, you will have some adverse reaction to their comment.

ie: you want to hang up the phone right away, remember why you do not tell them such things in the first place, get some itchy hive thing, start coughing even!

Your body or your mind will remind you who to not overshare with.

Just in case keep your mouth zipped and reduce the time you hang out together.

Period. Stop now.

Your measure is - how big is the encouragement versus the criticism/negativity.

Do not analyse it or look at it from 100 directions.

Whatever you do, do not let them analyse it and look at it from 1000 directions.

Do not listen, shut it down.

Move your mind on, move them on.

I am not saying disown these negative spiral spinners or cut them out completely but move yourself that little further away.

Don’t have as many catch ups.

Some people love the drama of seeing others struggle.

Do not invite them over.

Do not tell them your intimate life journey goal stuff!

Some people, people that have done what it is they wanted to do, have been given life on a plate, not having to work through the same types of things you have.

They do not know your deep power.

They do not know how hard you have worked to be who it is you want to be AND more importantly who it is you are becoming.

They do not know what you are capable of.

This brings me to …

Step 2. Be discerning

Only take those forwards who are with you.

This is clear just make sure you know and trust that you know who they are. As per above. No negative nellies.

Step 3. Decide

Take back control

· Know you have done hard things before and you can do hard things again

· Know that the boxes you have been put in are no longer relevant – burn the god damn boxes.

· Know that this will not be the last hard thing you do – that there are many more hard things ahead and you are god damn ready – shout it out - bring it on, lets go!

​​· Know this is your time take things into your hands, to make sure you fulfill your personal potential that I know you are capable of.

That everyone including you has inside of them!

Take back control. Own it. It belongs to you.

Step 5. Take action

Do the work

Now you have to start. You have to keep moving forward and making things happen.

Pick up the phone, the book, the study, the next thing you need to do to make it happen.

Write out what you need to do to get there.

This where we go into goal setting land - if you hate that word, goal setting because of some person who is tricky uses it, some crazy over achiever you do not identify with it, change it to dream setting!

“[insert your name] dream setting plan…’

What do you need to do to get those dreams happening?

Start simple, take the easy wins, start proving to yourself this is your future.

This belongs to you.

We can go through goal setting/dream setting a whole other time but this is the beginning now of something big - you and do it. I believe in you!

​Is there a dream formula?

Yes.

Visualise it

? Decide on humans (- get rid of the negative energy, + take only the positives)

+ Take back control

+ Decide this is for you

+ Write out the steps you need to get there

Even if the road and the light is a bit dark – follow the light…the light knows the way.

Pick easy wins, tiny minor little things that are still a step forward, record your achievements, give yourself the evidence.

Take action and move forwards.

If it helps I put my goals into this format….

Short term this year - 1 year, 6 months, 3 months, 1 months, each week, each day

Medium term - 1 to 2 years

Long term - 2 to 5 years

Then the Vision - the long term goal!

Heard about goal setting but not sure on this visualisation stuff, does it work?

Yes it it does - I used visualisations to find love, I had a list a mile long and this person had to meet ALL of the things on my list, I would look at my diary and think, gosh no one is ever going to be all these things, two months later I find the person.

I visualised my hair back after alopecia. I also did a ton of work with that – it did not just arrive! 99% chance if it returning said one doctor. But I used visualisation to remind me, because I had forgotten what it felt like and looked like and where I was going. I used it to recover from bed bound debilitating chronic fatigue syndrome when every single doctor said – sorry this is your life now. No way. Not for me. This was not how my story ended.

I used it to pitch for a goal I had for working and getting a role at a big entity - took me years to get there but I did it.

I did it to buy my house.

And I have a million other examples.

Visualisation is ONE part of the key, you need the mindset to believe you can do it PLUS you need action.

I hardly shared a word about these things above to other people because I did not want pity or sympathy.

I just kept going and did the work and eventually I arrived at my destination.

My closest confidants knew the struggles, the pain, were witness to my tears when things felt like they were going nowhere. But they were also my biggest cheer squad when I arrived.

So think about these steps, what is it that you want?

Take yourself forward. I know you can do it!